Relationship guru Esther Perel's solution to AI chatbots and ghosting? A new Substack.
Relationship guru Esther Perel is bringing her advice to Substack.
The psychotherapist, podcaster, and author is launching a newsletter called Between Us on Monday, at a moment when modern relationships can be defined by dating apps, ghostingand even AI companions.
Entre Nous, which in French means “between us,” will feature Perel’s insights on intimacy and conflict resolution through columns, podcasts, and livestreams.
Most of the content on Perel’s Substack is free. Subscribers who pay $9 a month, or $90 a year, get access to chat features, plus perks like ad-free podcast episodes and behind-the-scenes content.
Perel joins a stream of content creators — authors, journalists, historians, and others — who are turning to Substack to build their own subscription businesses.
Esther Perel will continue to podcast as she starts a new newsletter on Substack. Leeor Wild
Substack has experienced substantial growth since its launch in 2017. The newsletter platform was the 12th most visited news and media site in the US in September, according to SimilarWeb dataand was valued at $1.1 billion in July, The New York Times reportedbased on recent fundraising. Success stories include Matthew Yglesias’s Slow Boring and politics-focused site The Bulwark. Substack isn’t paying Perel to join its platform, like it did years ago to recruit big names.
Besides providing writers with a simple distribution method, Substack helps readers discover authors they may enjoy. Perel said she hopes Substack can help grow her audience, instead of simply serving her existing fans.
“I think of Substack as a neighborhood of cool people,” Perel said in a recent interview with Business Insider. “And I would like to see if there’s a way for me to join these neighborhoods.”
Building a ‘digital village’ on Substack
Perel, who’s been a therapist for nearly four decades, built a following by sharing theories about what brings people together and what pulls them apart.
Her new Substack isn’t just about sharing relationship advice, which she regularly broadcasts to her millions of followers on her podcast and across Instagram and TikTok.
Instead, Perel said she wants Entre Nous to be an online forum — or a “digital village” — where people can have conversations about sometimes-difficult topics like relationships, intimacy, and sex.
“Not enough people can come to therapy,” Perel said. “Not enough people can afford it. Not enough cultures have it available. So how do I open the door? How do I lower the four walls?”
Perel gained fame for her views on balancing opposing desires within marriage. Zenith Richards
Perel came to fame after writing the 2006 book “Mating in Captivity,” where she described a tension between the excitement of sexual desire and the stability of marriage.
People traditionally brought struggles and existential questions to religious leaders or communities, Perel said. Now, she said, they’re bringing emotional and physical demands to their romantic partners.
“We ask one person to give what once an entire village or community used to provide,” Perel said.
Perel said she wants to recreate that sense of community through Substack. Vox Media, Perel’s podcast partner, is assisting with the launch of Substack — including by selling ads and keeping a cut of the revenue — and will provide bonus content for subscribers.
AI mimickers give Perel mixed emotions
Substack and social media aren’t the only places you can get thoughts from “Esther Perel.” Someone has made an AI chatbot based on her.
A custom ChatGPT bot called “Esther Perel” mimics the author’s advice. Perel said she’s not involved with bots like this and isn’t planning to be — at least not yet.
“I have had a combination of feelings: I am curious, I am fascinated. I am dismayed, I am worried,” Perel said. She also said: “We are trying it out ourselves to see what this actually means.”
As for virtual companions like AI girlfriendsPerel said it’s an area she’s curious about. She thinks AI could help enhance human connections, instead of replacing them.
“It’s here to stay” Perel said of AI. “But I want it to not have a sycophantic attitude that constantly strokes your ego.”
